e g r e g o r e s

"Graciously bestow upon all men felicity, the summit of which is the knowledge of the Gods." [Julian, Oration to the Mother of the Gods]

Commentary on the Ox-Herding Pictures

Sometimes you get the ox … and sometimes the ox gets you!

1. Ox? What ox?

In my dreams I’m a rock star.
Please don’t disturb my sleep
with talk about some ox.
What ox?

2. I don’t even own an ox!

Whaddya mean I’m just a peasant
like everyone else?
If I was a peasant, I’d need an ox.
But I don’t even own an ox!

3. The ox perceives you.

Here I am, up on stage.
But what’s that ox doing in the audience?
Why is he looking at me like that?
I don’t like the looks of this!

4. Running like hell from the ox.

How the hell did that ox
get up on my stage!?!?
Security! Where’s my goddammed security!
Somebody help me!

5. No escape – cornered by the ox.

I thought backstage
I’d be safe.
Nobody’s allowed backstage
without a special pass!

6. Being stomped on and gored by the ox

Where is everyone?
Why won’t anyone help me?
I thought they all loved me,
but now I realize they were all laughing at me.

7. Selling the ox for drinking money. Good riddance!

Well, maybe I did own an ox after all –
but now I’m rid of it.
And I’m off to celebrate
my new found freedom!

8. Missing the ox. It was such a great ox….

Man, that ox was the best ox
anyone ever had.
He was my best friend
in the whole world!

9. Praying for a new ox. I’ll be good this time, I promise.

Please Gods, I realize
I made a mistake.
I didn’t know any better –
but now I do. Pleeeeeease!

10. Oh, but not this ox. My old ox was much better!

Hey – what’s this?
Some kind of joke?
This new ox
is completely unacceptable!

[A much more traditional take on the Ox-herding pictures can be found here.]

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